How do you make a home nuclear generator to power electricity?

Hey. I am tired of paying the electricity bill and got fined for taking my neighbours from his pond. Turned out he never watched tv or had a computer. When his bill went from £10 a month to £150 he got suspicious and found the cable and adaptor that I had connected to his fish pond in the back garden. Anyway thats another story. I did bury the cable but obviously he unearthed it.

I know some people use solar plates to provide electricity for their home, but this costs too much. I don't have £25.000 to spare for this stuff. Also it is a rented place so I don't even own the roof.

I was thinking of a nuclear generator that I can build at home and use to power my electricity usage off uranium or something. I am really good with building gadgets, and know where I can get weapons grade uranium from cheap. I just need advice or a walkthrough on how to build a mini nuclear power plant in my own kitchen.